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  1. #16
    Forum Member marytattoo's Avatar
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    @luvdabags-i believe there is something to that, on average. Women's relationships seem to generally be "deeper" in many instances. In my situation, one day all was well and normal. Then - nothing. No explanation, even in email. For the most part I've moved on, but it happened at a time where I experienced a lot of other losses, including the deaths of my dad and my maternal grandmother.

  2. #17
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    sorry to hear, @marytattoo. that sucks. in my experience with this sort of thing, if the friendship was very meaningful to you, it can feel like a strange combo of a death and getting dumped by a significant other at the same time. no good at all.

  3. #18
    Forum Member sturbridge's Avatar
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    I can't say if this will apply to this particular situation, but on the couple of times I've had to "dump" a friend, it might have appeared sudden to the recipient, but I can tell you I tried to casually/discretely/off handedly say I was unhappy on many occasions, and the recipient just wasn't hearing me.

    The most recent time was a couple of years ago- I initially thought the woman's lack of boundaries was rather amusing because she did things I never would dream to do, but over time it became tiresome. She was a salesperson and she and her husband started a multilevel marketing business and then kept trying to sell my husband and I. I asked her to stop. She continued, her husband continued. She told me what I should do with my house (because she didn't think it was high end enough). She even offered up one of her contractors for a project we had in mind, except she told the contractor what SHE wanted done at our house (was not what we wanted). In many areas she was pushy beyond belief. She told me after we'd had some home improvements done that my home was finally clean and organized (it was well kept before the improvements). I was livid about that, I told her at the time and she just laughed it off. I tried not returning calls, and not initiating visits. She kept asking. Finally she invited me to something yet again and I just replied in email "sorry, that isn't going to work for me". She threw all kinds of guilt at me. I was done at this point.
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  4. #19
    Forum Member marytattoo's Avatar
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    One thing in my instance is that she was the needier one. She had lots of problems at work and was also working on a master's degree. She called me at work a lot because she was depressed. She was a very strong born-again christian, but my faith wasn't/isn't as focused - the differences weren't a focus in a negative way, just in a learning way. Anyway, those things all made her behavior confusing.

  5. #20
    Forum Member Lani's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ladyinblack1964 View Post
    Thanks again, everyone, for listening. I had a very nice email from C last night, and I know we will have some catching up to do!
    Wow. I would NOT have expected that. I guess maybe "time heals all wounds" in this case? Very happy that you two have reconnected, in that case!

  6. #21
    Volunteer Moderator Alumni Ilkyway's Avatar
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    Sturbridge I think you describe an importend point here: before a "brake" a disfunctional communication of one sort or another that is felt painfully at least for one party is what I have seen and even expearianced too a couple of times.
    I feel the frustration, anger and disbelive in your storry and having throughn guilt at you for not wanting to be treated like that anymore...
    If people lack selfreflecktation sometimes the only way to deal with them is not dealing with them anymore.

    I could not click the like button for your storry but I felt like wanting to verbaly hugg you for that unpleasent experiance (sorry, I am one of these annoying huggers).

    Ilkyway
    “Ankh-Morpork people considered that spelling was a sort of optional extra. They believed in it in the same way they believed in punctuation; it didn't matter where you put it so long as it was there.”

    By Sir Terence David John Pratchett from The Truth

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